ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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