So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
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I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
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Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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