Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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