So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
