Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
