We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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