just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
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I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
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got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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