Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
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