Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
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It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm at about main and main street
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
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THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop