I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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