OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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