I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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