I was born with a shot glass in my hand
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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