All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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