I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
your like the ambassador to my penis.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
