look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Sorry about my life...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
