I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
