Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She's the barista slut.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
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