ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
