No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
you had me at cake vodka
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
