Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
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Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
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I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.