I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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