On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
