my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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