It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
