Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
