her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
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He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
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it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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