She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
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I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
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Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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