she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck