Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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