i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.