New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.