I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Maybe he injected his testicle?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.