Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.

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(760): Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later. http://tfl.nu/1m2z

Replies (19) Good night (3034) Bad night (873)
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(509): View more from Washington

went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.

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(509): went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down. http://tfl.nu/4560

Replies (11) Good night (846) Bad night (3057)
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(630): View more from Illinois

You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..

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(630): You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell.. http://tfl.nu/hsjq

Replies (37) Good night (13791) Bad night (1150)
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(630): View more from Illinois

slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed

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(630): slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed http://tfl.nu/wcfq

Replies (26) Good night (4486) Bad night (1387)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.

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(803): Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear. http://tfl.nu/2r4l

Replies (18) Good night (7936) Bad night (1353)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?

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(208): Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain? http://tfl.nu/hz7f

Replies (17) Good night (940) Bad night (3724)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.

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(770): Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp. http://tfl.nu/629f

Replies (7) Good night (1321) Bad night (2111)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song

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(+44): He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song http://tfl.nu/ouwi

Replies (4) Good night (1810) Bad night (577)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.

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(303): Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face. http://tfl.nu/mcx6

Replies (7) Good night (1845) Bad night (518)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.

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(307): I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left. http://tfl.nu/b2xd

Replies (2) Good night (1113) Bad night (552)
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(410): View more from Maryland

We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.

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(410): We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off. http://tfl.nu/hhrd

Replies (26) Good night (4534) Bad night (775)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin

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(717): In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin http://tfl.nu/u60j

Replies (5) Good night (868) Bad night (401)
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(719): View more from Colorado

I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.

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(719): I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room. http://tfl.nu/d9w2

Replies (6) Good night (1934) Bad night (472)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM

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(973): She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM http://tfl.nu/axe1

Replies (1) Good night (561) Bad night (383)
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(713): View more from Texas

Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed

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(713): Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed http://tfl.nu/zx0l

Replies (0) Good night (507) Bad night (209)

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