There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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