you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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