All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
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You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
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Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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