I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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