I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
home. puking in laundry basket.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
