I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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