Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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