I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.