Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
His hands were made for my vagina.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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