my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
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