I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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