STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
too bad you live with your parents still
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize