in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
i think i just lost a toe
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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