DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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