I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
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My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
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Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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