Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Sorry about my life...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize