why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.