I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
mondays should just be called national damage control day
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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