Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Pooping to opera.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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