i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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