I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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