Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"