Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.