We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Plural? Please tell.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
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vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
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Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.